Archive | family constellation therapy

How Listening to My Body’s Messages Saved My Life

If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today.

My body’s messages is what saved my life.

After numerous doctors visits, I still did not feel at ease when the doctors diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst. The surgeon who was to operate on me told me I had to wait seven months to have it surgically removed.

The first doctor I saw didn’t even return my calls after a first visit because it was “nothing serious”. I told the surgeon I was in much pain, that I had to pee every 10 minutes and that my belly was growing by the week. He said, “It’s nothing to worry about. This is a normal cyst. Just relax.”

My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing…

I was restless. My tummy felt anxious. I couldn’t sleep. My legs wanted to move. I lay down one day and simply listened and watched every bodily sensation. I noticed breath, aches and pains. Then, a sentence came to me very strongly through my belly:

“Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it.

I didn’t wait another moment and made an appointment with my surgeon and out of nowhere came the following words out of my mouth: “Do you offer private surgeries outside the Canadian health care system? To my surprise, the answer was yes, for $2,750.

Some family and friends told me not to pay so much for the surgery when I could get it for free if I just waited a few months… They told me to take it easy and believe the doctors. They told me that they are the professionals and they know better than me.

My belly didn’t believe it.

Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread.

I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down!

This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages.

My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick.

It felt nauseous and tired. But I didn’t listen. If I had, it would have told me that it wanted to live in another place. It wanted to work with something else, something meaningful. It wanted to laugh and dance.

Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard.

I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer.

One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body.

We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life.

I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind.

If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body.

When taking a moment to feeling each option, paying attention to which one makes your body’s energy go higher? That one is the right decision. This is fun, because you don’t even need to think. Just ask your body. It never lies!

But it is not always easy to listen.

Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings.

Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance.

Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry.

Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now.

Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them.

By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself.

Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment.

How could it not be?

As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think. As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself…

When we are connected to our bodies and listen closely, something begins to guide us, something bigger, taking us to the next step and then the next step. This something can show up as an inner voice, a knowing or a hunch. Sometimes it can come as physical pain.

This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love.

For help with a cancer diagnosis, counseling in English is available in Östermalm, Stockholm, or online.

Click here for contact. 

 

Originally posted in

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/how-listening-to-my-bodys-messages-saved-my-life-jivan-dios/

why i never ”battled” cancer

Cancer didn’t just happen to me. It took time. I remember something within me trying to talk to me long before it decided to go it’s own way and become cancer.  It yelled and screamed. It made me uncomfortable. It made me sad. It cried and and made my belly tight. I ignored it. So it finally gave up. It was done with me. It hit the road and went it’s own way and took a whole bunch of other cells with it. They all became a tough gang called “solid tumor.”

I often notice the words people use to describe people with cancer.

“She is battling cancer.” “ He lost his battle with cancer.”

“His fight against cancer.”

After my own diagnosis, many told me to “fight” this cancer, that I “can win”. It felt as if I was suddenly in a boxing match that I could win if I only could only “fight” hard enough. At first I thought, “Good news! If I only fight hard enough, I can be healed!

I’m terrified here. I’m alone. I need to fight for my life…I’ll do anything! I’ll fight.  Just tell me what to do. I’m ready.”

So I put my gloves on, took a crouching position to protect myself and squinted. I looked around to have a look at the competitors who were…..me and…me again!

In one corner was a healthy part of me and in the other corner, there was the cancer that may be in my body, which is also me.

It got me thinking…who is my opponent? Who is the enemy? In both corners it is only ME. I looked around and could only see my own body. There was no enemy, only my own body. I realized there was nobody to fight. So I took the gloves off. And took a long, deep breath.

Then something unexpected happened as I released from the crouching. I no longer felt alone and terrified. I slowly began to smile more. I even danced. Almost every day.

I felt that I had been suddenly awakened and became aware of the precious gift of life. I became aware of the only vehicle I had for life: my body. I became aware of me.

By knowing that I did not need to fight my body no matter what its condition may be in, something deep began to relax inside. I felt a wonderful acceptance.  Then, a lightness came. I felt an openness surrounding me. I felt support all around me. And most of all, I felt love.

There was nothing to fight, fix or change. I felt like my own best friend.

And as best friends do, they listen, not fight.  So I listened to my body as a whole, and then I listened to my cells that were going their own way: the cancer cells.

They looked very intimidating. I was terrified.  But I still kept the gloves off.

Then I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life: I dared to look at cancer straight in the face.  I was terrified but knew I had to listen. I felt it had something to teach me. So I listened. Humbly.  It expressed much sadness and hurt.  And it was angry; the same way children get angry.

Cancer was not the monster I had imagined. And it was certainly not the enemy. It was a part of me that reminded me of small little boy who was sad and lonely. And ran away from home.

It was a part of me that I had forgotten about. A part that I didn’t listen to.  A part that I hadn’t loved.  That part simply wanted to express itself and to be seen. Most of all, it wanted to be loved and accepted.

More than ever, fighting was not the right thing to do. How could I fight someone who’s sad and lonely? Sad and lonely needed a friend.

I knew after that listening experience that I needed to make some radical changes in my life.

There was no room for compromise. I needed to live life to the fullest! I needed to respect what that ill part of me longed for. Not easy, I tell you.  Why isn’t that easy, you may ask?  Because what we long for is often not what others would like us to do. And being a pleaser, this was especially difficult for me.

I still need to remind myself every day to listen to only me and nobody else.

I do this by staying very close to myself. Because there are a lot of voices out there in this big world.

I have to listen very closely, because my body is so gentle and loving…it only whispers.

I now trust that listening to my deepest voice can only lead me to health and deep love. It already has.

By listening, I am getting to know parts of myself I didn’t even know were there. And I like those parts. They are love. Love is always with me, no matter what. Cancer or no cancer.

 

Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek  in Stockholm, Sweden and on the Greek island of Crete where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.

Have you been diagnosed with a serious illness? You are not alone, and there is support. Online sessions are available. Visit her at www.opentherapy.se 

email jivan@opentherapy.se

tel. +46.760.455.299

 

 

Fel: Kontaktformulär hittades inte.

you are still innocent

Do you remember when you were a little child, you felt joy simply by running free for no reason,could laugh while chasing butterflies and could play with the same toy for hours? Your belly felt totally relaxed, knowing somehow you were completely safe? When you were sad, you cried. When you were angry, you yelled and frowned.

You were innocent then. Guess what, you still are.

This innocence and simpler way of being are still inside of you and each and every one of us and can be felt at any moment, no matter what hardships you have endured. This simpler way of being cannot be taken away from you. It is essentially who you really are. You possess a wonderful inner intelligence that is based not only on your mind. This intelligence is much bigger: it comes from a knowing from your entire body. You are an amazingly intelligent and loving soul with simple needs. Your deepest wish is to live happily and playfully, with a career and relationship that makes you thrive and live your fullest potential. Sounds simple, and it can be. You just need to listen.

Transforming pain, depression, blame, unhappy relationships, chronic illness, fear and anxiety into something more beautiful than you ever imagined is not only possible, but easily within reach. With this shift, a deep inner compassion is revealed as well as a closer and deeper relationship with yourself and others. With this shift, healing happens. Life becomes more fun and creative, richer, full of wonder, love and gratitude. In fact, this is what life wants for you every day. Life is always wanting you and helping you to come back to your true nature of boundless joy and unconditional love.

Jivan is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek in Stockholm, Sweden, as well as on the island of Crete in Greece where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing.

Online Therapy is also available.

email jivan@opentherapy.se

tel +46.760.455.299

 

Fel: Kontaktformulär hittades inte.