Review – Ann, Stockholm

Jivan has a very loving approach. I do recommend her to everyone who wants to take a deeper look at oneself. She has a strong presence that allows you to find out things about yourself you did not know before… Besides that she is just a great person!

– Ann, Stockholm

Review – Anu, Stockholm

Jivan’s loving, open, attentive and allowing presence has been deeply supportive. She has a very soft, welcoming and delightful touch to her work, and she has supported me greatly in my process. What I also love about meeting her is that she radiates positivity, flow, and love for life! She is profoundly professional and very intuitive. In working with her, I have gained insights into my life, I have connected to my core and discovered hidden emotions and tensions, and been empowered to take the next step. I can highly recommend working with Jivan, and I want to give a big thank you to her!

– Anu, Stockholm

4 Festive Drinks For An Alcohol-Free Party

Since I greatly reduced my alcohol consumption, I realized how much drinking  felt almost mandatory during most holidays, most of them anchored in a boozy tradition.

Since I follow a low-alcohol diet (not to mention plant-based), I usually tend to feel a little boring with my tall glass of water.

This year, I will come prepared. I will feel festive! And I would like to help you, too!

At some party events, I allow myself a tiny bit of alcohol (a little high-quality organic wine never killed anyone), but for the most part, I will be sipping on the super-yummy, alcohol-free drinks I suggest below. Pouring these drinks in beautiful glasses such as wine, Champagne or Martini makes them that much more fun.

Eat, drink and be merry!

 

1. Green Juice or Smoothie

Is there any better time of the year to have a yummy green juice? I think not. With your tall green drink in hand, you will look and feel better than any drunken leprechaun I’ve ever met.

It is always preferable to make your own green juice or smoothie at home, (see below for my fave) where you can save cash and select your own top quality organic  ingredients. Of course, any organic store-bought green drink will do just fine. Just make sure all ingredients are organic and that the sugar content is in check. 

St-Patrick’s Day Green Smoothie

Yield: 2 servings

   1 avocado

   1/2 banana

   1 cucumber

   a fistful of kale or romaine or spinach

   coconut water (or purified water)

   a sprinkle of cinnamon or some cacao (optional)

1. Blend ingredients in a high-powered blender.

2. Kombucha

One of my favourite party drinks, Kombucha is a probiotic, raw food that aids digestion and boosts the immune system with its enzymes and Vitamin B. With a nice fizz, it is fermented tea that tastes and feels delicious and festive. It even looks like Champagne!

kombucha

Fizzy Kombucha

The Chinese have been using it for 2000 years and refer to it as “The Tea of Immortality”. Good enough for me! My absolute favorite flavor is anything ginger.   3. Coconut Water

coconut water

Vacation-y Coconut Water

Fresh Coconut Water (not to be confused with coconut milk) is one of the healthiest foods you can put in your body. With its elevated  electrolyte content, it is highly hydrating and contains many vitamins and minerals your body will thank you for.  Plus, it is super refreshing at a hot, irish party. I avoid canned coconut water  and make sure I buy 100% Coconut Water with no added anything. With a twist of lemon and few strawberries popped-into a martini glass, you got yourself a party!

  4. Pomegranate Juice Pomegranates are low-sugar fruits rich in vitamins C, E and whole range vitamin Bs and minerals. They are alkalizing and anti-inflammatory.  Need more? They also contain lots of antioxidants and flavonoids (all the healthy stuff in red wine, without the damaging alcohol). Because of all of these amazing qualities, I drink Pomegranate juice every single day, midsummer or not. For an added festive feeling, I like to add a little pear nectar or mix it with some Kombucha. I buy 100% pomegranate juice, not from concentrate.

pomegranate juice

Pomegranate Juice

What are your favorite festive alcohol-free drink?

Would love to hear!.

Just enter your comment below

Jivan Dios is a SE Trauma and Family Constellation Therapist living in Stockholm, Sweden and on the island of Crete, in Greece. Visit her at www.kindfulness.se

The Therapist Who Helped Me Heal: Part 1 of My Interview With Nishant Matthews

nishant smile

I met Nishant for the first time in late 2011. Since then, Nishant has been a therapist and   teacher to me. But more than both of those things, he has been a friend.

During a health challenge last year, Nishant and I met once a week. He guided me and believed in me every step of my healing journey. And I feel forever grateful. I cannot think of any moment together with him that I did not feel completely listened to and accepted.

 During this time, I often felt sad, angry, helpless and very, very afraid.  But throughout each session, Nishant gave the precious gifts of holding the space with calmness, acceptance and Presence. These gifts keep on giving today. He helped me open my heart and know that by simply Being and relaxing into the present, there is nothing we are not big enough to welcome.

 His relaxation and openness as a counsellor and human being inspire me to relax and listen to my inner voice, to dare to trust my intelligence and to know my own heart. And I remind myself of this every day.

 A few weeks ago I sat down with Nishant and we talked for awhile about being a seeker, therapy, Being and Presence and why we have trouble with Trust.

Here is the 1st of 6 parts of some of the words we exchanged. Every day this week I will publish an excerpt of our interview.

The final part will be released on Friday, October 4th, the first day of Nishant’s 4-day Presence Training right here in Stockholm.

Jivan:

Please tell me about your way of being a therapist, which has been such a huge help to me.

Nishant:

 My way of being a therapist is different than most.

 Most therapy focuses on “How can I work out the rough edges or fragmentation within my psyche so I can live a better life and be a more productive worker or husband or citizen or make more money or have a good relationship?”

 My basic training was how to acknowledge all of the roughness of the psyche just for what it is and somehow penetrate through that into a ground place where you realize, “I’m not the psyche, I’m a Being.”

 In the Osho community, where I started as a therapist, you learn to work with the psyche in a way that opens people up to the various experiences in the psyche such as fear, anger, sadness, hurt, isolation and grief.

 Feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, hurt and isolation can be doorways you can work with to get into another aspect of your consciousness we can call Being or Presence.

 This Being doesn’t have the same character of limitation of past, present or future; of being wounded , being small or being hurt as the psyche does. From this place of Being, you can realize your connection to a field of other people and a field of consciousness.

 The tradition of western psychology is based on the assumption that you are a person and this person has a mother a father and beliefs and an unconscious and a super conscious and superego and went to school and has a history.

 And in that, the self that you think you are is the manager of the bad guys within you and promotes the good guys in you. That self tries to make your parents happy and make other people happy to somehow get through a successful life. And there are different skills and tools for helping that self to manage itself.

 If you come from the meditative tradition, it’s a very different picture. From the meditative tradition, the self isn’t as fixed or solid and real as it seems.

 If you’re a meditator you realize there are 20 different selves every day, depending on what kind of stress you’re in or who you meet.

The sense of self is a manifestation of the psyche that tends to show up in certain circumstances and disappear in others.

 I have a client who’s a banker and when he goes to work he feels like he’s 45 years old and has a pretty good picture of what banking’s about.

But when he meets a difficult employee or gets a critical email from his supervisor, he has the feelings of being 8 years old and back in school again and that’s a new self.

The banker self is pushed on the shelf and this other emotional self takes over and a lot of his reactions are based on feeling like he’s 8 years old and the boss is big and he’s small.

You can ask, who’s the real self here. It just comes and goes like this all day long. And when he goes home at night to meet his wife, there is a whole other self that shows up. There is always change in this field of the psyche.

  And then in the East, the whole emphasis is on,

“What is it that doesn’t change in this field of everything changing? Is there something that really is home-based?”

If you meditate, the answer is Yes.

 There is a sense of Being that has a quality of awareness and of Presence which can accommodate being happy and can accommodate feeling sad, of being successful, all kinds of difficult experiences without collapsing into being a 4 year-old or a 15 year-old.

 The trouble with having a self is that it’s always insecure.

 If you pay much attention, which most people don’t, you always feel alone. You always feel a little bit separate.  Insecure.

The natural reaction to all of that is to try to make yourself stronger. More solid. More secure. To somehow prove to yourself that you are real and good.

And having worked with people at all different ages, some are very successful, some are moderately successful and others unsuccessful.

Nobody has been able to do anything that proves to themself that they are real and good. None of them have been able to feel secure.

It looks that way to people on the outside but it never feels that way on the inside.

Nishant Matthews is a therapist, teacher and author currently living  near Stockholm, Sweden. For contact and for more information, www.nishantmatthews.com

Feeling stressed? Read this.

Make Contact

It happens to all of us. We feel overwhelmed. We feel tired. We can’t focus on what we’re doing. This is what I call Stress.

You’re looking at that computer screen with a blank stare. You don’t remember ever having chopped those 2 onions. You think to yourself, “Let me just keep going”, even though something is just not feeling  right inside. You need to stop. Now. You are feeling stress.

Stress means that You are trying to tell You something and it’s time to listen.

First thing’s first. Close your eyes. Breathe. Breathe again. Look for a quiet space where you can be alone and relax, be it at work, home or (even better) outside. While siting down, feel your bum on the ground or seat. Feel how the ground or seat is supporting you.

Relax your body, or as many muscles as you can, and breathe. Ahh! Doesn’t that already feel better?

Now, let’s gently go a little deeper. Breathe through your mouth at a slow, steady pace for a few moments. Be curious about what you’re feeling. Notice any discomforts or pain in your body. Is your chest tight? Maybe your shoulders are tense. Do you have a headache?

Becoming aware of our physical sensations first can help us feel emotions we have a hard time with or didn’t even know we had.

While staying with your breath and these bodily sensations, you may begin to notice different feelings coming up. Are you feeling sad about that argument? Maybe you’re feeling angry with that colleague? You might even feel sad and are crying for no reason at all. Good. This is all very good. You are listening to and honouring yourself! This is the time to allow all of that to happen. It is actually more than ok to feel angry, sad and hurt. It’s called being human. The important thing is to take a few moments to actually feel those things and to allow it all without judgement, and not put them aside and “wait for later” cause “it’s not a good time”, and my personal favourite, “I shouldn’t feel this way”. All of these feeling are energies that need to be released, just like when you feel like dancing when you feel happy…it just needs to happen.

Energy needs to move!
Something amazing can happen when you express exactly who you are and how you really feel….You feel free and alive and You have become your own best friend. You were there for You!

Plus, you might even remember how many onions you chopped.

Jivan, born to Greek parents, grew up in Montreal, Canada where she studied Arts. She took sannyas in 2011 during her Star Sapphire Energywork training with Sagarpriya. She now works and lives in Stockholm, Sweden and the Greek Island of Crete where she offers Counseling, Meditation, Relaxing Massage, Star Sapphire Energywork sessions as well as Family Constellation workshops. Jivan is also an ovarian cancer survivor

lessons from a dog: just be yourself and hug

He loves for no reason. He plays for no reason at all. He simply IS whatever he is doing. He doesn’t overthink anything.  He is open for anything and everything! He is Buster the dog. And we will be caring for him this week at our home. I noticed yesterday that he is currently the most loved being in our home. Humans included.  When he is playing, I want to join in and hug him and kiss him and play! And so does everyone else. I wondered why  we were much more likely to hug and kiss and play with this dog than with the human beings in our own lives? For example, when a human friend comes through the door, I feel very happy to see her, but don’t jump on her, dance around her and tell her she is “the cutest thing ever” every time I see her. That thought made me realize that I think that that friend would probably love the same welcome I offer the dog. And I would like that too. At the end of the day, who wouldn’t want to be welcomed with open arms, a big smile and an even bigger hug? I notice that during such moments, I often don’t allow my natural spontaneity to come through. Buster has helped me realize that I want to play more, hug more, kiss more, and just be myself–more. Thank you, Buster. We are not very different from dogs. We only think we are.

Buster

Buster

Jivan, born to Greek parents, grew up in Montreal, Canada where she studied Arts. She took sannyas in 2011 during her Star Sapphire Energywork training with Sagarpriya. She now works and lives in Stockholm, Sweden and the Greek Island of Crete where she offers Counseling, Meditation, Relaxing Massage, Star Sapphire Energywork sessions as well as Family Constellation workshops. Jivan is also an ovarian cancer survivor.

You are still innocent

Do you remember when you were a little child, you felt joy simply by running free for no reason,could laugh while chasing butterflies and could play with the same toy for hours? Your belly felt totally relaxed, knowing somehow you were completely safe? When you were sad, you cried. When you were angry, you yelled and frowned.

You were innocent then. Guess what, you still are.

This innocence and simpler way of being are still inside of you and each and every one of us and can be felt at any moment, no matter what hardships you have endured.

This simpler way of being cannot be taken away from you. It is essentially who you really are. You possess a wonderful inner intelligence that is based not only on your mind. This intelligence is much bigger: it comes from a knowing from your entire body. You are an amazingly intelligent and loving soul with simple needs. Your deepest wish is to live happily and playfully, with a career and relationship that makes you thrive and live your fullest potential.

Sounds simple, and it can be. You just need to listen.

Transforming pain, depression, blame, unhappy relationships, chronic illness, fear and anxiety into something more beautiful than you ever imagined is not only possible, but easily within reach. With this shift, a deep inner compassion is revealed as well as a closer and deeper relationship with yourself and others.

With this shift, healing happens. Life becomes more fun and creative, richer, full of wonder, love and gratitude. In fact, this is what life wants for you every day.

Life is always wanting you and helping you to come back to your true nature of boundless joy and unconditional love.

 

 

why i never “battled” cancer

Cancer didn’t just happen to me. It took time. I remember something within me trying to talk to me long before it decided to go it’s own way and become cancer.  It yelled and screamed. It made me uncomfortable. It made me sad. It cried and and made my belly tight. I ignored it. So it finally gave up. It was done with me. It hit the road and went it’s own way and took a whole bunch of other cells with it. They all became a tough gang called “solid tumor.” I often notice the words people use to describe people with cancer. “She is battling cancer.” “ He lost his battle with cancer.” “His fight against cancer.” After my own diagnosis, many told me to “fight” this cancer, that I “can win”. It felt as if I was suddenly in a boxing match that I could win if I only could only “fight” hard enough. At first I thought, “Good news! If I only fight hard enough, I can be healed! I’m terrified here. I’m alone. I need to fight for my life…I’ll do anything! I’ll fight.  Just tell me what to do. I’m ready.” So I put my gloves on, took a crouching position to protect myself and squinted. I looked around to have a look at the competitors who were…..me and…me again! In one corner was a healthy part of me and in the other corner, there was the cancer that may be in my body, which is also me. It got me thinking…who is my opponent? Who is the enemy? In both corners it is only ME. I looked around and could only see my own body. There was no enemy, only my own body. I realized there was nobody to fight. So I took the gloves off. And took a long, deep breath. Then something unexpected happened as I released from the crouching. I no longer felt alone and terrified. I slowly began to smile more. I even danced. Almost every day. I felt that I had been suddenly awakened and became aware of the precious gift of life. I became aware of the only vehicle I had for life: my body. I became aware of me. By knowing that I did not need to fight my body no matter what its condition may be in, something deep began to relax inside. I felt a wonderful acceptance.  Then, a lightness came. I felt an openness surrounding me. I felt support all around me. And most of all, I felt love. There was nothing to fight, fix or change. I felt like my own best friend. And as best friends do, they listen, not fight.  So I listened to my body as a whole, and then I listened to my cells that were going their own way: the cancer cells. They looked very intimidating. I was terrified.  But I still kept the gloves off. Then I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life: I dared to look at cancer straight in the face.  I was terrified but knew I had to listen. I felt it had something to teach me. So I listened. Humbly.  It expressed much sadness and hurt.  And it was angry; the same way children get angry. Cancer was not the monster I had imagined. And it was certainly not the enemy. It was a part of me that reminded me of small little boy who was sad and lonely. And ran away from home. It was a part of me that I had forgotten about. A part that I didn’t listen to.  A part that I hadn’t loved.  That part simply wanted to express itself and to be seen. Most of all, it wanted to be loved and accepted. More than ever, fighting was not the right thing to do. How could I fight someone who’s sad and lonely? Sad and lonely needed a friend. I knew after that listening experience that I needed to make some radical changes in my life. There was no room for compromise. I needed to live life to the fullest! I needed to respect what that ill part of me longed for. Not easy, I tell you.  Why isn’t that easy, you may ask?  Because what we long for is often not what others would like us to do. And being a pleaser, this was especially difficult for me. I still need to remind myself every day to listen to only me and nobody else. I do this by staying very close to myself. Because there are a lot of voices out there in this big world. I have to listen very closely, because my body is so gentle and loving…it only whispers. I now trust that listening to my deepest voice can only lead me to health and deep love. It already has. By listening, I am getting to know parts of myself I didn’t even know were there. And I like those parts. They are love. Love is always with me, no matter what. Cancer or no cancer.   Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family Constellation Therapist living & working in English, French & Greek  in Stockholm, Sweden and on the Greek island of Crete where she offers couples retreats, therapy & holistic healing. Have you been diagnosed with a serious illness? You are not alone, and there is support. Online sessions are available. Visit her at www.opentherapy.se  email jivan@opentherapy.se tel. +46.760.455.299     [contact-form-7 404 "Not Found"]