Couples Counseling in Stockholm
Many couples who come to couples counseling have often experienced many months of poor communication and irritation. Some see it as a failure, the inability to sort out problems on their own while others may believe it won’t help to “bring in outside help.”
The truth is that almost all couples experience periods when it does not work so well. It is normal to get into slumps. And it is wise to take help to get out of them.
It is also often the case that only one person in the couple suggests therapy, and the other person feels it's not needed, that we can "fix our problems on our own."
And certainly it may be so, but it can also happen that the relationship stays in its slump - and the deeper the ruts get, the harder it usually be to get out of them. If it is so that you noticed that you cannot sit down and talk with each other, talk and sort out your problems, chances are that the relationship is in a downward spiral that threatens to result in separation.
And if you notice that you rarely manage to talk, but often start arguing about mundane things that are not really so important, then you need to bring in outside help.
My therapist partner Alf and I have developed a way to work with couples that has many benefits. It means that we are two therapists in most or all sessions. You can then also parallel to your couples therapy meet us individually - so that, for example, I meet with each one individually, or Alf meets each one individually, or that I meet one of you and Alf the other - for one or a few sessions. Sometimes it is very useful to have some session of individual therapy in a way that does not shift the balance in the couples therapy/counselling. Learn more about this option here: Bättre tillsammans
Many couples meet, however, only me. (The reasons for this are various: Sometimes it can be difficult to quickly get time with us both together. It also costs more to work with two therapists.) If you meet me alone, I work in a similar way as with Alf. When you meet me the first time I give you both the opportunity to tell us about your problems so as you look at them as individuals and I create space so that you feel comfortable, allowing you to open up in a way that feels safe. I help and guide you to keeping a healthy & constructive dialogue alive while working with problems at home – and you get the right tools so you don’t get caught in old ruts again.
In couples therapy and counseling I often work with methods based in or inspired by in Imago Therapy, CBT, Non-violent communication and Family Constellations. All of which encourage opening up a new way to express yourself and listen, both to yourself and your own needs as well as your partner’s.
By saying yes to couples therapy, you express love and respect for your partner and what you share. In relating, there is no right or wrong. There are simply different points of views coming from different experiences and backgrounds. With couples therapy, we learn to understand that ours and our partner’s current behavior is often influenced by past emotional events, most often unconsciously.
During a session, you begin to become more aware and communicate in a meaningful way, making you feel safer, more connected and supported, creating deeper understanding and love.
Jivan is an Osho therapist working in Östermalm, Stockholm, Sweden and the Greek island of Crete. She offers Counseling, Meditation, Star Sapphire Energywork sessions, Couples Counseling, Family Constellations in a workshop and individual setting.