If I would have believed the doctors and not trusted my own body’s messages, I don’t know if I would be alive today.
My body’s messages is what saved my life.
After numerous doctors visits, I still did not feel at ease when the doctors diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst. The surgeon who was to operate on me told me I had to wait seven months to have it surgically removed. The first doctor I saw didn’t even return my calls after a first visit because it was “nothing serious”. I told the surgeon I was in much pain, that I had to pee every 10 minutes and that my belly was growing by the week. He said, “It’s nothing to worry about. This is a normal cyst. Just relax.” My cyst was deemed non-suspicious, but my body could not relax. Somehow, something didn’t fit. Something was keeping my body from relaxing…
I was restless. My tummy felt anxious. I couldn’t sleep. My legs wanted to move. I lay down one day and simply listened and watched every bodily sensation. I noticed breath, aches and pains. Then, a sentence came to me very strongly through my belly: “Those doctors have no clue what’s really wrong! You cannot wait seven months for surgery! Investigate!” It was a voice so loud that I could not ignore it. I didn’t wait another moment and made an appointment with my surgeon and out of nowhere came the following words out of my mouth: “Do you offer private surgeries outside the Canadian health care system? To my surprise, the answer was yes, for $2,750. Some family and friends told me not to pay so much for the surgery when I could get it for free if I just waited a few months… They told me to take it easy and believe the doctors. They told me that they are the professionals and they know better than me.
My belly didn’t believe it. Five days later and thanks to the private surgery, I received an early-stage cancer diagnosis. If I had waited seven months as the doctor recommended, the cancer would have likely spread. I don’t know if I would be alive today. That was the best 2,750$ I ever spent, hands down! This is not the first time my body was trying to send me important messages. My body had been telling me for months that it wasn’t happy and that it was getting sick. It felt nauseous and tired. But I didn’t listen. If I had, it would have told me that it wanted to live in another place. It wanted to work with something else, something meaningful. It wanted to laugh and dance. Most importantly, my body wanted to be heard. I just had to listen. If I had, I don’t believe I would have developed cancer.
One of the many (believe it or not) wonderful things that came with a cancer diagnosis is a new relationship with my body. We are now best of friends. I can trust it. I know it saved my life. I now listen to it closely because I know it has intelligence far more sophisticated than my mind. If you have difficulty making a decision, ask your body.
When taking a moment to feeling each option, paying attention to which one makes your body’s energy go higher? That one is the right decision. This is fun, because you don’t even need to think. Just ask your body. It never lies! But it is not always easy to listen. Quite often while growing up, we are told to fight the body and its feelings. Don’t tremble with fear, don’t run, don’t laugh too loudly, and don’t dance. Eat all of your food even if you’re not hungry. Drink coffee if you’re tired; you can’t sleep now. Over time, this causes us to lose our connection to our bodies and ultimately our trust in them. By losing our connection to our bodies, we lose our connection to Nature and Life itself. Our bodies are innocent. They are primal and natural and are connected to all of Nature and the universe with its million and one happenings in every moment. How could it not be? As with all beings in Nature, our body works perfectly on its own without the need to think.
As Osho, a great mystic, once said, the grass grows by itself… When we are connected to our bodies and listen closely, something begins to guide us, something bigger, taking us to the next step and then the next step. This something can show up as an inner voice, a knowing or a hunch. Sometimes it can come as physical pain.
This something is what I call Life, the great mystery, always gently guiding us back to the center of it all…Love. In what ways has your body
Originally posted in www.elephantjournal.com
Jivan is an Osho therapist working in Östermalm, Stockholm, Sweden and the Greek island of Crete. She offers Counseling, Meditation, Star Sapphire Energywork sessions, Couples Counseling, Family Constellations in a workshop and individual setting.